When You Need Help Caring for a Parent
Where can I turn for caregiving help? I help take care of my 78-year-old mother and work too, and it's wearing me to a frazzle.
Taking care of an aging parent over a period of time — especially when juggling work and other family obligations — can be physically and mentally exhausting. Nevertheless, there are helpful resources available.
To help you determine and prioritize the type of help you need, a good first step is to make a list of everything you do as a caregiver, big and small. Note the amount of time each task takes every day, week or month. Identify the times when you need help the most and which tasks others might be able to do for you, like making lunch for your mother when you are at work.
Next, list the types of care needed, such as simple companionship or doing active chores, such as grocery shopping. Here are some tips and places you may consider for help once you determine the type of care required.
Caregiving Help
If you have siblings or other loved ones close by, schedule a family meeting, either in person or by phone, to discuss specific tasks with which they could assist. See if friends, neighbors or faith group members could help too.
You should also investigate resources in your mom's town. Many communities offer a range of free or subsidized services that help seniors and caregivers with basic needs such as home meal delivery, transportation, senior companion services and respite services, offering short-term care so you can take an occasional break. Call your Area Agency on Aging (call 800-677-1116 for contact information) for referrals to services available in your community. For respite services, contact the ARCH National Respite Network and Resource Center.
If you can afford it, you may want to hire someone part-time to help with things like preparing meals, housekeeping or even personal care. Costs may run anywhere from $12 to $25 per hour. To find someone, ask for referrals through your mom's doctor or area hospital discharge planners.
Financial Aids
If you are handling your mom's finances, make things easier by arranging for direct deposit for her income sources and set up automatic payments for her utilities and other routine bills. You may also want to set up your mom's online banking service so you can pay bills and monitor her account anytime. If you need help, hire a daily money manager to do it for you. They typically charge between $25 and $100 per hour.
Technology Assistance
To help you keep tabs on your mom when you are away at work or if she lives alone, there are affordable technologies that can help.
For example, there are medical alert systems (like Bay Alarm Medical) which provide a wearable "help button" that would allow your mom to call for help anytime she needed it.
You could install a video-monitoring camera that lets you check in on her anytime via your smartphone or computer. Many of these cameras have built-in motion and sound detection that will let you know when something is detected, as well as two-way audio that will let you talk and listen to her.
There are even websites (like LotsaHelpingHands.com) that can help you more easily coordinate care with other family members.
Insurance Questions?
If you have questions about Medicare, Medicaid or long-term care, your State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) offers free counseling and advice on these issues. Call 877-839-2675 or visit ShiptaCenter.org to locate a nearby counselor. You can also get help through the Medicare Rights Center, which staffs a help-line at 800-333-4114.
Savvy Living is written by Jim Miller, a regular contributor to the NBC Today Show and author of "The Savvy Living” book. Any links in this article are offered as a service and there is no endorsement of any product. These articles are offered as a helpful and informative service to our friends and may not always reflect this organization’s official position on some topics. Jim invites you to send your senior questions to: Savvy Living, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070.
Published November 9, 2018
