How to Effectively Communicate with Your Doctor

Communication difficulties between patients and their doctors are nothing new. Many patients feel as if doctors are dismissing their concerns, which can be frustrating and potentially lead to missed diagnoses and delayed care. If you believe your doctor is not listening to you, here are some tips offered by the National Institute on Aging that may help.

Prepare for your appointment: Before your exam, make a written prioritized list of any questions and concerns you want to discuss with your doctor. If you have done any online research, print it out and bring it to your appointment to ensure all information gets discussed. If it is a diagnostic visit, you should prepare a detailed description of your symptoms, when they started and what makes them worse.

Be honest and upfront: Even if the topic seems sensitive or embarrassing, it is important to be honest and upfront with your doctor. You may feel uncomfortable talking about memory loss or bowel issues, but these are all important to your health. It is better to be thorough and share detailed information than to be quiet or shy about what you are experiencing or feeling. Remember, your doctor is trained to talk about all kinds of personal matters.

Ask specific questions: If you and your doctor are not communicating well, ask specific questions that require a response. For example: What might have caused the problem I am dealing with? What is the specific name of my diagnosis? Is the problem serious? Will it heal completely or require ongoing management? What future symptoms might suggest the need for emergency care or a follow-up visit? When and how will test results be received? If you do not understand something, do not hesitate to ask, “Can you explain that in simpler terms?” or “Can you give me more details about that?”

Take someone with you: Bring a family member or friend to your appointment. Your companion can help you ask questions or raise concerns that you may not have thought of, help you understand the doctor’s advice and provide you support.

Be persistent: If your doctor is not addressing your questions, repeat them or rephrase them. If there is still no progress, follow up by saying, “I am worried that we are not communicating well. Here is why I feel that way.” or “I need to talk with you about X, but I feel like I cannot. Can we address this together?” If you feel as though you are being dismissed, ask your doctor to include in the notes that they are declining to provide care of the particular symptoms.

After your appointment, if you are uncertain about any instructions or have other questions, call or email your health care provider. Do not wait until your next visit to make sure you understand your diagnosis, treatment plan or anything else that might affect your health.

For more tips, the National Institute on Aging offers a free booklet called “Talking with Your Doctor: A Guide for Older Adults” that can help you prepare for an appointment and become a better and more informed patient. To order free copy or see it online, visit order.nia.nih.gov/publication/talking-with-your-doctor-a-guide-for-older-adults.

Consider moving on: If the communication problem with your doctor persists, it may be time to start looking for a new provider. Depending on how unsatisfied you are with your care, you could also notify your doctor’s medical group and your insurance company or leave feedback on their online profile. If you are dealing with a serious issue – like a doctor who prescribes the wrong medication or fails to provide test results in a timely manner – it might be appropriate to file a complaint with the state medical board.

Savvy Living is written by Jim Miller, a regular contributor to the NBC Today Show and author of "The Savvy Living” book. Any links in this article are offered as a service and there is no endorsement of any product. These articles are offered as a helpful and informative service to our friends and may not always reflect this organization’s official position on some topics. Jim invites you to send your senior questions to: Savvy Living, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070.