A family letter is a key part of a good estate plan. It is much more personal than many of your estate documents. A family letter allows you to share your heart and show appreciation and gratitude to family members. During a time when family members are grieving, it also helps them to complete many practical steps to protect your property.The family letter may have up to ten different sections. Each section will cover an important but separate topic.

Estate Data

Your estate organizer usually has four parts. It will explain the family names and key information, identify your attorney, CPA and other financial and health advisors, cover all of your assets and financial information and outline your estate planning choices.The estate organizer may be printed or you may use an online version. Your family letter should explain where the information is located. If you are using an online estate planner, it's important for your personal representative to know your account name and password so the information will be available.

Important Documents

Your important documents will generally be safeguarded in three different ways. First, many individuals have a safe deposit box. The safe deposit box typically holds birth certificates, death certificates, degrees and other legal agreements, marriage or divorce documents, military discharge records, property deeds, a personal property inventory, stock and bond certificates and vehicle titles.Second, you may have a fireproof box at home. This box will frequently include your insurance policies, your living will, medical power of attorney or advance directive, trust documents and your will.Third, there are some items that should be left with your attorney, friend, agent or another trusted person. These are items that may be needed while you are still living or will be necessary very soon after you pass away. These documents (or copies of documents) could include your financial power of attorney, a durable power of attorney for healthcare or advance directive, your living will, trusts and your will.

Accounts and Passwords

Because an increasing number of records and information are retained online in personal accounts, you will want to be certain that your personal letter lists all accounts. You may decide to include passwords with the personal letter. Alternatively, if you are entrusting all of this information to a specific person or other location, that should be identified.With the rapid movement to online banking, online mutual funds and securities accounts, donor advised fund accounts, health savings accounts and your email accounts, you may have six to 10 accounts with various passwords. It will be important to have all of this information recorded.

Your Family History

While your estate organizer will include basic information about you and your family members, there is an excellent opportunity in your family letter to discuss your family history. This can include a few short paragraphs that give the names and background of your parents. List all of their children or other key relatives in your family. Your history may discuss marriages, divorces and any blended family relationships. Finally, the family history will show the date of death for persons who have passed away.Family history can include discussions of your activities, interests and career. It enables all of your extended family to have a good picture of your entire life.

Care for Children, Grandchildren or Pets

If you are responsible for any children, grandchildren or pets, this is an opportunity for you to explain your plan for their care. While your estate planning documents will normally appoint guardians for your children or grandchildren who are under your care, it still may be beneficial for the guardian to receive recommendations from you on their education and other areas of development that you understand very well. If someone is to care for pets, you may have recommendations on the way in which that is done.

Memberships

You may have memberships in a number of organizations. Some memberships, such as for a country club or club that purchases sporting event tickets, are transferable to heirs. It would be helpful to your family for you to list any memberships that you have so they can handle them properly.

Care of Your Body

When you pass away, your body may be in the custody of a medical center or nursing home. If you have previously decided to make any organ donations, it is helpful to explain that decision in your family letter. The requirements for making organ donations are typically covered under state law. In many cases, decisions on organ donations are made when you sign your living will or advance medical directive.

Funeral or Memorial Services

The cost of many funerals now exceeds $10,000. If you would like to assist family members in the decisions surrounding your funeral or memorial service, the family letter is an excellent way to do so.First, your family will need to decide whether to have a burial in a cemetery with a casket or to use cremation services and an urn. You may have personal or religious reasons for preferring one or the other.With a casket and burial in a cemetery, your family will generally make use of a funeral home. Because there now is significant competition in the industry, funeral homes are starting to offer advance prices and package services. If you desire a specific range of services, type of casket or prefer not to be embalmed, those directions are helpful to your family.There are funeral consumers\' alliances in many locations. Your family may find assistance and guidance on www.funerals.org. This guidance may help them make good decisions during a very difficult time in the midst of grief over your loss.If you are a veteran, your family may want to contact the Department of Veterans Affairs. You may qualify for a gravesite at no cost in one of the 130 national cemeteries for veterans and their spouses.

Obituary

In your funeral or memorial service, there will be eulogies. It is also customary to have a printed description of your lifetime. This will frequently include your basic history, awards, achievements, military service and lifetime employment. If you have specific requests for information to be included in the obituary, it is helpful to your family to give them guidance. You may have certain principles or values that are important to you that you would like to share through the obituary. This is an opportunity for you to communicate your values to the public.

Final Words and Blessings for Family

Your family letter may conclude with a word of blessing. It is a tradition in many cultures for the elders to provide a blessing for the next generation. This is frequently done when the elder is still living, but certainly your family letter provides a similar way to bless your children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces and other family members.Your final words of wisdom and blessing for family members will be of great comfort as they grieve your loss. It is an appropriate and fitting way to conclude your family letter.

My parent lives alone and has fallen several times over the past few months. Are there any tips or precautions you recommend that I can implement to help prevent this?

The risk of falling is a common concern for millions of elderly seniors and their families. Each year more than 1-in-4 older adults fall, making it the leading cause of both fatal and nonfatal injuries for those age 65 and older. However, many falls can be prevented. Here are some tips that can help avoid further incidents.

Exercising: Reduced muscle strength and poor balance are two of the biggest risk factors that cause seniors to fall. Walking, strength training and tai chi are all good for improving strength and stability. Your parent can also try simple exercises at home like sit-to-stand exercises (sitting down and standing up from a seat without using hands for assistance), standing on one foot for 30 seconds then switching to the other foot, and walking heel-to-toe across the room.

Check medications: If your parent takes any medications that cause them to be dizzy, sleepy or lightheaded, make a list of all the drugs they take, prescriptions and over the counter (OTC), and contact their doctor or pharmacist for a drug review and adjustment.

Numerous medications for blood pressure, anti-anxiety treatments, antidepressants, anti-seizure medications, antipsychotic drugs, diuretics, sedatives, tranquilizers, certain pain relievers and OTC drugs that cause drowsiness are frequently responsible for falls related to medication. 

Get a vision and hearing test: Even small changes in sight and hearing can increase your parent’s risk of falling. As such, it is important to get their eyes checked every year to be sure their vision and eyeglasses are functioning properly. Hearing loss can also double the risk of falling, so have your parent’s hearing checked as well. If they use a hearing aid, be sure it fits well and that they wear it.

Fall-proof the home: There are several simple household modifications to help make your parent’s living area safer. Start by helping them arrange or move the furniture so there are clear pathways to walk through and pick-up items on the floor that could cause them to trip like newspapers, shoes, clothes and electrical or phone cords. If they have throw rugs, remove them or use double-sided tape to secure them.

For the bathroom, use non-skid rugs on the floors and a rubber mat on the floor of the tub or shower. You should also consider having a carpenter install grab bars in and around the tub, shower and toilet for support.

Additionally, ensure the entire house has adequate lighting. Install some affordable plug-in nightlights for the bathrooms and hallways. If the house has stairs, you should also put in handrails on both sides.

For more tips, see the National Institute of Aging’s resource page titled “Preventing Falls at Home: Room by Room” NIA.NIH.gov/health/fall-proofing-your-home.

Choose safe footwear: Going barefoot or wearing slippers or socks at home can also cause falls, as can wearing backless shoes, and shoes with heels or smooth leather soles. The safest option is rubber-sole, low-heel shoes.

Purchase some helpful aids: If your parent requires assistance with balance or walking, consider providing them with a cane or walker.  For an extra level of safety and to provide you with peace of mind, also consider getting a medical alert system with a wearable emergency help button or voice-activated software that allows your parent to call for help if they did fall or need assistance.

To help you evaluate your parent’s future risk of falling, use the National Council on Aging’s “Falls Free CheckUp®” tool at NCOA.org/tools/falls-free-checkup.

\r\n

Savvy Living is written by Jim Miller, a regular contributor to the NBC Today Show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book. Any links in this article are offered as a service and there is no endorsement of any product.  These articles are offered as a helpful and informative service to our friends and may not always reflect this organization’s official position on some topics.  Jim invites you to send your senior questions to: Savvy Living, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070. 

As you approach end-of-life decisions, there are several steps that should be taken to make sure you receive the right type and level of care. To assist you in these decisions, most states now permit either an advance directive or a living will. Some seriously-ill persons also have a doctor sign a Physician Order for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST). These documents are designed to assist your family and doctors in making the decisions according to your preferences.

Senior Medical Planning

There are three important background areas that you should learn about before entering into senior medical care. These are the medical oath and principles of your care providers, the rules created by Congress to ensure your medical information is protected and the decisions by your state on the specific document that you use to convey your wishes.

Doctors will frequently follow a set of principles that were originally called the Hippocratic Oath. The first oath was written by Hippocrates, a Greek doctor who is considered the father of modern medicine.

A modern version of the Hippocratic Oath typically states, "To practice and prescribe to the best of my ability for the good of my patients." Following this principle, your doctor will attempt to restore you to good health.

Because of modern improvements in medicine, it is possible to prolong your life through the use of ventilators, intravenous feeding and other devices. While you certainly want your doctors and nurses to provide very good care, you may also need to offer some guidance on how extensively your family and doctors should use modern technology to prolong your life.

A second major area for you to understand is called HIPAA. The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) was passed by Congress in 1996. It is designed to provide protection for you and to keep your health information private.

Under the HIPAA rules, you have the right to see your health records, but you must give written permission before your records are released to other individuals. The information provided by doctors or nurses about your care, medications or other personal information is protected. However, you will want to be certain that your designated healthcare proxy (the person who will assist in making healthcare decisions) has the right to review these records. You should sign a HIPAA release form in order to enable your advisors to give proper recommendations to your doctors and nurses.

Finally, you must understand the specific documents of your state. Some states use an advance directive in which you choose a combination of a durable power of attorney for healthcare and a living will. Other states have separate documents. It is very important that you use the appropriate document tailored for the laws of your state.

The Advance Directive

Your first key advisor is the person who will make your medical decisions if you are incapacitated. This individual is frequently called the healthcare proxy. He or she is your agent and holds your durable power of attorney for healthcare. Normally, you will select primary and secondary persons as your healthcare proxy agent.

You will want to list the persons, their addresses and phone numbers so they can be easily contacted. Your secondary healthcare proxy will assume the primary role if the first person is unable or unwilling to serve.

Part of your advance directive will also explain the level of authority that you have given. Your healthcare proxy usually does not have the authority to make decisions unless, in the view of your doctor, you are no longer able to make decisions yourself. However, many forms allow you to sign and empower that person immediately. The authority of your healthcare proxy may also extend after you pass away so that he or she can make appropriate decisions at that time.

Your healthcare proxy may be called upon to make significant decisions for your care. For example, it may be necessary to decide whether or not to use morphine or other types of pain medication. If the decision is to make use of morphine, then a second decision will be made on the use of a low dose or a high dose. With a lower dose of morphine or other types of pain medication, you may have greater clarity of mind but may be less comfortable. If you receive higher doses of medication, you may not be as clear-headed, even though you are at a higher comfort level. These decisions can only be made based on your condition at a given time, but they do directly impact the quality of your life in that circumstance.

A healthcare proxy may also be called upon to make very significant decisions about the hospital, nursing home or other care facility and the level of treatment. For example, some seniors have suffered broken hips or limbs at a time when their demise was near. A healthcare proxy will need to make decisions about the appropriate level of care or treatment under those circumstances.

A second section of an advance directive allows you to give counsel on the level of measures and technology that will be used to prolong your life. If you have an incurable or irreversible condition that will result in your death within a relatively short time, there are medical devices that can significantly prolong your life.

These are sometimes referred to as "heroic measures." If you desire all reasonable measures to be taken, you can generally request that care. If you do so, your life may be extended to the greatest extent possible under "generally accepted healthcare standards."

Your healthcare guidelines expressed in your advance directive will discuss your preferred level of nutrition and hydration. If you prefer to receive nutrition and hydration through intravenous methods, you may specifically request those options.

It is helpful for medical providers to have some level of direction for your pain management. If you prefer a higher level of pain management even though that gives you less clarity of thought, you may so indicate.

A third, fairly typical section of the advance directive covers donation of organs and designation of your primary doctor. If you would like to donate specific organs or designate specific purposes for the use of your body, you may identify the particular organs or discuss purposes. Common purposes include transplantation, therapy, research and education.

Advance directives and living wills may, under state law, be witnessed in a manner similar to the witnessing of your will. Some states require two witnesses or a notary to witness your advance directive. Check with your state law to make certain that you have complied with those requirements. A helpful website with state law requirements is www.caringinfo.org. It is maintained by the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization and seeks to improve care at the end of life.

Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST)

A Physician Order for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST) is a medical order signed by your doctor or a medical staff person as authorized under your state law. While the name and provisions may be different in some states, the POLST option is generally available nationwide. If you have a serious illness or may pass away within one year, you may want to ask your doctor to sign this medical order. 

The POLST typically covers cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), medical interventions and nutrition. You may choose to have CPR or select “Do Not Resuscitate (DNR).” Your medical interventions may include full treatment to prolong your life, selective treatment that avoids burdensome procedures or comfort-focused treatment. Nutrition can be maintained long-term with feeding tubes, for a trial period or you may select no artificial means of nutrition.

All of these decisions should be made in consultation with your doctor. Both your doctor and you or your healthcare proxy must sign the POLST. Your POLST may reflect your values, religious beliefs and goals for care. 

Even if you have a POLST signed by your healthcare provider, you still need an advance directive. The advance directive appoints your healthcare proxy (primary and secondary) and covers many medical circumstances not covered by the POLST. Everyone should sign an advance directive, while those who are seriously ill may benefit from a POLST.

Action Steps

After completing your living will or advance directive, you will sign and typically have witnesses for your original document. Prepare several copies of your advance directive. You will want to give a copy to your healthcare agent, your family, clergy, your doctors and other advisors who may be involved in assisting with your medical decisions.

At any time you may revoke the living will or advance directive. It generally is best to revoke the entire document and complete a new document. If you attempt to amend different parts of the advance directive, there is a risk that you may sign provisions that conflict or are inconsistent. If you are in need of urgent care or treatment, you do not want any conflicting provisions in your living will or advance directive.

Your living will or advance directive is a very important part of your personal planning. It is designed to help you receive the best possible care at the end of your life and still comply to the greatest extent with your personal healthcare preferences.

As taxpayers consider their gifts in 2025, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) offers seven charitable giving tips. The IRS reminds taxpayers that giving money or goods to a tax-exempt organization before the end of the year can usually be deducted on that year’s federal income tax return. These seven tips may help you maximize benefits from charitable gifts.

1. Qualified Charities – Only gifts to qualified charities are deductible. The Tax Exempt Organization Search (TEOS) Tool on IRS.gov is useful for determining if a charity is qualified. Religious organizations with regular worship services are generally qualified, even though they may not be listed on the IRS database.
2. Itemized Deductions – Charitable gifts are deductible if you itemize on IRS Form 1040 Schedule A. Most taxpayers will itemize if their deductions exceed the standard deduction. Cash gifts up to 60% of your income are generally deductible. If you give over this amount, the excess may be carried forward and deducted over the next five years.
3. Cash, Checks, Credit Cards, Payroll – You need a bank record or written statement from a charity for cash or similar gifts to claim a charitable deduction. For a payroll deduction, you should save your paystub or W-2 statement.
4. Property Gifts – Clothing and household goods must be in good or better condition to qualify for a deduction. If you give clothing or household goods over $500 in value, you may obtain a qualified appraisal and attach it to your return. Gifts of $250 or more in value require a written acknowledgment from the charity with a description of the gifted property. There are special rules for vehicles and other property gifts. Visit IRS.gov for additional details.
5. Donor Benefits – When a donor receives goods or services in return for a contribution, the charitable acknowledgement of the gift must show the value of the benefits transferred. For example, a gift by a donor for the annual charity dinner event will lead to a deduction that is reduced by the value of the dinner.
6. IRA Owners – If you are an IRA owner over age 70½, you may make a gift from your IRA custodian directly to a qualified charity. The maximum 2025 IRA charitable rollover gift (called a qualified charitable distribution (QCD) by the IRS) is $108,000. An IRA charitable rollover gift would also qualify for part or all of your required minimum distribution (RMD). See Pub. 590-B on IRS.gov for more details.
7. Records – You should keep good records of all charitable gifts so that you can prepare your IRS Form 1040. Proper documentation is especially important for property gifts. For example, property gifts valued over $5,000 will require a qualified appraisal so it is vital to maintain adequate records of the appraisal to substantiate the claimed deduction. See IRS.gov for further information.